Insomnia is like this, Life is like that

It's 2.30 am and I can't sleep. There's a lot going through my mind. It could be, that at this wee hours of the morning is when sometimes I get the most random thoughts. Inspirational or total crap, it really is a wide range. Truth is, I have insomnia, and it sucks big time. You get restless when you can't sleep. Which is why I would get really ticked off when I'm just about to fall asleep and someone wakes me up.

I'm really missing my Azman Sayang. I just spoke to him 6 hours ago, but I really do miss him. I just saw him last Easter break, just last month, but it seems like it was ages ago. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. I gave my ultimate respect to my cousin who did it for 6 long years. And now they're married with a baby girl. And she's very much like me. People tend to think, when you're in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR), you tend to let loose. You do not need to know so much of what your partner's doing. Wrong. You just do your own stuffs as long as you don't hurt your partner. Wrong. You set a specific time for all that 7 days in a week for essential communication and abide by it. Wrong. You set out dos and don'ts for each other while you're away and follow them. Wrong. So wrong.

My LDR, is nothing like that. My LDR is special, more special than anyone else's. The distance kills. So does the time difference. Sometimes I always go against the way things are supposed to be, and you, my sayang will always tell me to work with things instead. It's true though, it is so much easier to work with things when you're going with the flow, rather then against it. And you've always been there for me. I can't start listing all the things you've done for me, I really can't. The list would never end, and tears will start trickling down in no time. Yes, call me emo or jiwang, I can get sappy. I'm human. I'm not that cold-hearted bitch who doesn't appreciate her boyfriend and his efforts. I'm not that cheap skank who goes around getting physical with other guys when I can only do it with you baby, and so much more comfortably. I'm not that sadist who goes out drinking and clubbing drowning my sorrows away when we fight. I am me, and that's the person you fell in love with. I'm conventional in many ways and you know that. I love you more than words can say.

Right now its creeping to 3 am. God, time really is passing slowly. I have my Philosophy notes staring at me, but my brain is too exhausted to work. Yet somehow there's this urge to blog. In my background I have my iPod on speakers, on a very considerable volume, playing songs from my 90's playlist. Oh how I miss good music.

Which brings me to something else that's even more random. The only 3 things I like about the Brits:

1. Muse
2. English muffins
3. British spelling (I prefer colour to color)

So this is the part where my random thoughts come out.

• My first paper starts on Monday. Not going to whine about anything on that area.
• Lake District is intriguing. I must see what the fuss is all about.
• I have this weird desire to go to Prague, but get this, only because it sounds so Vogue.
• Philosophy is an amazing subject to learn, but impossible to score.
• I have such a sweet tooth and I can't stop eating all sorts of sweets. But I really don't want to be diabetic.
• My dining hall's first dessert was strawberries and cream. I wonder why they stopped serving it.
• If the whites feel so superior about themselves, then why work so hard to get a tan? To change who you really are?
• Cheese does not have any place in the music industry today.
• I'm 1/16th British. Haha it is true. But I was never really proud of it. I don't see what the big deal is about.
• My so called 'American accent' is making the Brits turn their heads when they hear me talk.
• Which by the way, my American friend can verify that my accent is not American
• The Brits think that, if you're not speaking their English accent, then it must be the American accent. Or you're a Chinese trying hard to speak English
• I'm not kidding, this is really what most of them think
• And they think Malaysia is in Middle East
• Generally, I'm feeling really restless cos I haven't been shopping/spending for a long long time.
• And the next 3 weeks won't make things better.
• I miss eating my meals in KTJ's dining hall, when I sit facing baby Azman boo boo and watch him cut my lamb or steak for me
• The girls here are so jealous of my natural tan
• I'll tell you why, its cos I'm a Malay.
• More precisely, I'm actually Malay-Chinese-Siamese-Javanese-British.
• I love speaking Spanish to Yan Azman
• But he loves telling me he loves me in Dutch
• Everybody has their buttons. Find it and push it. Score.
• Hollywood is a big fat lie. The Hollywood movies are your typical fantasies. They will NEVER happen in real life.
• I have this weird desire to wear a white cotton baju kurung
• I miss seeing Azman waiting for me in the common room waiting for me after classes.
• I miss our study sessions baby
• Pancakes of Love.
• Designers seem to be inspired by pregnant women, and wait for it, the garbage bins. What's with all the silly clothes in the so called new line of thrashy clothes?
• My College Execs are so up their own asses. They think they're all that, but it's only cos we voted for them. Becos the last time everyone checked, they were ass-kissers. Normal right?
• I haven't gotten the chance to wear my sundresses.
• I'm wondering where the sun is.
• It still feels like winter
• English weather is crap
• I still like Britney Spears' music over any other sort.
• I'm not a rock chick, I'm a pop princess.
• I wonder what it'll be like to get your lips done. Is it the same silicone for the chest area?
• I may need a nose job. I blame it on my dad.
• Musical Lover I am. Phantom of the Opera, after my exams.

I should try and get back to sleep. But baby I miss you so much! =(

Apologies for any spelling/typo errors. It;s 3.27 am!