Monetarist Materialist

Oh dear god.

I've been broke for far too long. It feels like it's been over a year (you think I'm exaggerating but you can't even come close to what I feel) It's been a month since I last waited for my claim and it still hasn't been cleared. Entering week 5 now.

I have lost hope in money itself. I know it can buy me so many pretty things. I know it's my retail theraphy. When I'm depressed, I go shopping. That's the only way to prevent me from snapping at everyone for no reason (oh believe me, I will find a reason). Comfort food doesn't cut it for me anymore. Not that I'm getting fatter. Mind you I've been maintaining my weight and succeeded, despite my massive cheese intake from the salad bar at lunchtime. But that's not the point. The fact is that, I'm in great shape (well maybe not the greatest). I can wear sundresses, even those clingy ones and look fab-you-less (fabulous). But I'm beyond broke. Who needs money when you're fat? It makes you sad cos you used to be a size 2 but hell, not anymore.

I tend to babble a lot. My sayang understands. Anyhoo my main issue here, is that I've been broke for far too long! This does not reflect my inability to manage my finances. Hell I'm an Economics student, what do you expect? I'm not in debt, I haven't used my credit card, I've never used the bank's overdraft facility, cos seriously, who would have thought that I, of all people have learnt to be frugal with money, here? In UK! Trust me everyone back home thought it was a miracle. I used to be able to wipe out my bank balances from a 4-figure to zero! De nada! Not that I'm a rah, or not that I'm daddy's girl. I'm not rich at all. But it doesn't mean I don't know my limits. I do. Right now I'm waiting for my claim which by now I have zero faith of making it to my bank account. Really. Oh, at least I don't make Prada tops look like RM10 pasar malam item. It's just too bad you can't pull it off sweetie. I can be your full-time fashion consultant but if you don't have it, then you just don't! Period.

So earlier today I had my Elements of Economics paper. My first time sitting for a paper totally unprepared, I know, What was I thinking right? But I managed to pull through with my A-Levels knowledge. It will be fine.

Still. This is the umpteenth time of me whining when my money is ever coming???? I'm really getting pissed off. When I'm getting that money, I'm rewarding myself for the neverending patience.

Since I'm dying of boredom, I'm going to make a checklist of desires, and in one month I'll come back and see if I've actually bought any of these things. Because like I said, I'm losing faith in money. How bad do things have to be for someone to lose that much faith right? I know right? Fully. (Oh dear god, do I sound blonde?)

So anyhoo,

1. LG Prada - because I'm posh and I can make it look like a million dollars in my hands
2. Dior Shades - You don't want premature wrinkles, especially when your boyfriend is 18 months younger than you (ok baby, I'll let you get this one cos I know you love me to death)
3. YSL Cigarettes - this I can only get in Doha International Airport. Countdown - 35 days to transit flight back home. Designer cigarettes make smoking the 'in' thing, but seriously my sister is such a good girl to listen to me. Do not smoke. Well to be fair I started when I was 19. And I've quit. (With the exceptional of posh designer ciggies)
4. BCBG Maxazria Sundresses - cos I so need to wear them. They're oh-so-cheap in the States. Laura please take me there! Of course I need a visa first. Gah.
5. Hypnose Lancome - what else can I say?
6. Parker Special Edition fountain pen - so I can engrave AmnieAzman
7. River Island Dark Blue Jeans
8. Babyliss Hairdryer

This is going to sound ironic, but seriously, I'm not high maintenance. Not at all.

And I'm not materialistic. I'm a materialist. I believe in the existence of material things. Wow, I've found a new ideology for myself.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, AmnieAzman - the MONETARIST MATERIALIST.

Omg! What did Philosophy and Economics do to me? But you gotta admit, the Monetarist Materialist sounds better than Berkeley's Immaterialist Idealist.

Everybody should do PPE for their first year degree. It's so fun! What other combinations are cooler than Philosophy, Politics and Economics? I know right?

OMG I have got to stop typing my thoughts out loud.